This is gonna be interesting....

I've mentioned before that I want to train horses (in my last post I believe...?). I got the opportunity to start that up with Junior, a ten-year-old Fjord who is very willing, but he had a stopping/slowing down/ backing up issue. I worked with him on that as well as I could, and for the most part I got pretty far. But now that I cannot ride him, I'm hoping the others will at least let me do five minute workouts with him every time I'm out there. But I doubt my training will be any good in a couple weeks :/ He's a trail riding horse so he gets away with a lot of habits, and my instructor tends to say "It's not the horse, it's you're fault". Yes, well, I'm not gonna yank on a horse's mouth when he's in a twisted wire shank bit to get him to back up a step.
Anyways
I have recently gotten the wonderful experience of riding another horse. Thirteen-year-old Fjord mare, school horse, but most definitely not a trail horse. Her name's Heidi, and I'll give it to her, she has a cute personality. She also bites, bucks, will not listen, won't respect you, and has terrible training issues that idek how she got. I don't know her background, so it's possible she wasn't trained by my instructor(s) (as all of the other horses were), but she has too many problems and she's been nicknamed "The Terrorist" cause of it. Wonderful little pony. So I started with figuring out why she's bucking. I started with this first because she bucked me off and stepped on my ankle Saturday, and now my ankle is just wonderful looking and sore and uck. I pinned it down to it's definitely the bit. However, I don't know if there's an abcsess, or if she just doesn't want the bit because it forces her to be controlled. It's also very possible that the bit pinches her, as she also uses a twisted wire shank. One thing I have noticed is while I'm doing ground work, she never bucks when I tell her to go the other way. But when I apply pressure to the bit she bucks. I threw her in a hackamore, which she did fairly well in. I could tell she was more happy about it, but I also had zero control. On the bright side, when I applied pressure she didn't buck. So I know it's definitely the bit. But now I have extra things to train her in- hackamore, respect. My instructor gives her horses shots herself- she doesn't have a vet come out and check them, she does that herself. DISCLAIMER: her horses are, in fact, in top condition and very healthy ;P, but she could have possibly missed a mouth sore in Heidi's mouth.
Now my problem. I can't train her when I'm doing my lessons. I have to do everything she hates or my instructor will get mad. Another issue- she's not ridden often enough? Yesterday I went out, she saw me, came right to the gate, I got her, started leading her out andddddd whoop she was rearing and jumping around right away. She is an adorable pony and still pretty young, so I hate seeing her go to waste because she's not trained well. I would buy her, but tbh we don't click well enough for me to really want her for a lifetime :/
So I'm a little mentally exhausted. I mean, I enjoy trying to fix it, but at this point I also feel a bit hopeless.

"I have to do everything she hates or my instructor will get mad." I'm no expert, but that sounds like an issue in itself...

Her horse, her rules
I'm just a student

I was talking about for the good of the horse. I feel like your trainer should be a bit more open-minded, though this is just my opinion. Maybe try talking to her about your concerns? Communication is key.

Yeah, I think it would be better for the horse, but I've tried before and she always says it's my fault and I need to have more control of the horse. On top of that apparently if you ride in a hackamore you aren't experienced enough and you shouldn't even be riding with the group??? So idk

How is this DANGEROUS pony "cute"???

Sounds like you need a new riding instructor. She ought to be sued for putting kids/people on a dangerous, unbroke horse. Not blaming the horse as human ignorance is obviously to blame here.

Not sure what the point of this post is but, in my opinion, you have no business riding that horse. She is a HAZARD to YOUR safety. I understand feeling bad for a horse but that shouldn't mean you need to risk getting *seriously* hurt on her. If I were you, I would find a new instructor as your current one is useless as a teacher. 

Last edited on 2018-12-20 at 11:32:55 by Indigo

Indigo- I don't back down from this horse because I want to help her. I know that's a hazard to my safety, but in all honesty, I rather train this horse than leave because of it. She has potential, she just needs training. Although I do understand this concern, as it is a concern that I have myself. And I am taking every necessary precaution to make sure I am safe (:
And I think she's cute because of her personality- I dont think her lack of respect is cute at all. But her natural personality is spunky and fun- that's what I find cute lol

Last edited on 2018-12-20 at 11:59:16 by Rainy Holidays

I understand this feeling all to well. I own my own horse and haven't ridden a lesson horse for a long time (so I can do everything my own way and I am now clicker training my horse, lots of fun!) but I see people working their horses and I see things they either are doing "wrong" or could do better or things that could be changed to make it better for the horse. It really sucks, because at the end of the day the horse is theirs and they will do with it what they please, and so long as they feed it and take care of it (vet and farrier) there is nothing you can do.

I don't have any idea how old you are or how much experience you have but I would seriously consider finding a better place to take lessons or even free lease a horse (maybe with some lessons on the side). It sounds to me like you are probably not learning anything positive from these lessons or very good horsemanship (which it comes across to me that you would like to). I would do some "shopping around" in every area there are good and bad barns, I've been around to plenty good and bad ones in my area. One place a friend of mine was taking lessons I think is a lot like what you describe (only the horse care was quite a bit lower by the sounds of it) and she felt much the same as you and I don't think she really got much out of her lessons. At the end of the day if you spend your money there you are also supporting someone that maybe shouldn't be in the business.

Anyways that's my two cents, also look up Warwick Schiller on YouTube, you could probably pick up something that would be helpful to working with that little mare if you really want to stick with it. I understand 'cause I can be stubborn too, however you do have to pick your battles. Good luck

The lessons I'm getting from my instructor are actually very accurate, as I do research online about my own riding to see if there's anything I could improve/being taught wrong. I think it's just the fact that the horses have picked up bad habits from being ridden by so many new riders. I really do think Heidi has potential, especially because she is a great jumper, she just needs someone to turn her around and work with her more. I am a wrangler there, so I can technically do that without asking. 
I've tried looking at other barns- unfortunately they all are too expensive and the horses have more issues than the ones at the barn I'm currently at :/ With the horses I currently ride I at least feel safe, but with the horses I've ridden at other barns, I feel very insecure and scared on them. And then the money issue. I think I'll stick it out as well as I can- if I can make a horse better than I'll do it any day. 
And I'll definitely look up Warwick Schiller, thank you so much for the suggestion!!!

Everyone else’s posts here pretty much sum up what I also think of your situation. However, I feel the need to add that your coach is objectively wrong about hackamores being for beginner riders. I’m of the opinion that, depending on the hackamore, it can cause an equal or greater amount of pressure as a bridle with a bit. Back when I was more involved in horseback riding (don’t have the time or income to currently ride), I met more than 1 horse that competed nationally and practiced with a hackamore at a high level (the first that comes to mind is a mid-sized mare, a jumper, she used a hackamore because she was strong and didn’t respond to pressure in her mouth, only on her nose). These were strong, powerful horses being ridden at high levels by experienced riders, just because they could use a harsh bit didn’t mean it was the right choice for them or the horse.

 I also find it somewhat odd that your coach would use a twisted wire shank bit on more than one horse, let alone horses that are supposed to be used for trail rides and lessons. Those types of bits should never have the potential to be put in the hands of inexperienced riders, as they could easily accidentally hurt the horse (not speaking about how experienced you are, but if Heidi is a lesson horse I’m making the assumption that someone other than you could ride her, same for the other trail horse). They may eventually have to learn to work with harsher equipment, but that doesn’t mean they should rush into learning about it before they’ve covered all the basics. Even of the stronger horses I knew, twisted wire shanks weren’t overly common (at least from what I recall) and usually the softest bit that could be used safely with a horse would be used. Only other horse I’ve known to have such a harsh bit was, ironically, a medium pony that a child rode that she couldn’t control. It was frightening to watch her ride every time, and I’m surprised she was never seriously injured because of how out of control she always was. 

I know that you care about this pony very much, but if this coach is prioritizing her ideals and ego over your safety, it’s time to find a new place to ride. I’ve worked with “naughty” ponies when I was young, one of whom I had to give up on simply because I wasn’t able to work with him consistently and gradually. I was thrown into jumping lessons with improper tack (saddle almost slipped upside down on the approach to a jump because of a poorly fitted girth) and expected to make an overweight pony that was a stopper into a pro jumper. Wasn’t gonna happen, lol. That pony turned out fine without me, I see his name on local show circuit standings every now and again and he has a more permanent home. Don’t let anyone convince you that this pony will have no one if you leave. Someone will train her, or at least attempt. And don’t feel guilty for “giving up”. It’s ok to give up on one and move onto the next, just don’t make that your go-to solution for everything and you’re good. Your safety should be a priority in this situation, and you deserve to work with a coach that you can have an open dialogue with. A good coach will challenge you, but should not ever pressure or belittle you. You’re their client, there should be a decent amount of respect between you both. 

Sorry this got rambley, good luck in whichever decision you do end up making!