Making a tentative return perhaps?

Well its been some time since I was on EV. Over 2 years now I think. First of all I’d like to apologise to anyone I owed money to; give me a chance to go through my messages or drop me a line if you think I owe you anything.

Long story whittled down to a medium one - I have had 2 torrid years starting back in Jan 2019 when I firstly lost my job. Then my best friend Bex took a unexpected turn for the worse in her fight against cancer which meant I moved in with her to be her full time carer until we both couldn’t manage anymore & she went into a Hospice in Early April 2019 where she died 2 weeks later aged 34. Then the following week a very close family friend’s mom died of throat cancer so there were 2 funerals 4 days apart at the same church & crematorium, which pretty much killed me emotionally and I had a mental breakdown in June which required a stay in an institute. So I lost my house.

I managed to just about pull myself out of it enough to be released in October & was starting to feel like I was coping on a day to day basis when in December on New Years Eve my grandad died. He was 88 & it wasn’t a surprise with his ongoing illness so I was at peace with that death.

So I was starting to think about EV again then this virus hit & I started with my panic attacks again & put back my mental health. Then on my birthday 27^th March my 89 yo grandma (who I haven’t seen since her birthday Feb 22^nd due to this virus lockdown) was taken to hospital with a mild re-occurrence of her pre-existing COPD issue due to her coal mining town upbringing but she died in hospital several hours after being initially pronounced fine & dandy & being told she could go back home that day by Doctors on 1^st April. Then the Doctors had the nerve to try & say she died of Covid 19 but they hadn’t tested her, nor did she have any symptoms. Then in the next breath they said they couldn’t tell me what killed her or what time she died. So to say I don’t believe them is an understatement. They lied about a friends uncle’s death too purely to falsify their figures I’m convinced. Anyhoo then 2 days later after her death they say they have lost my grandma’s body & have no record of her death. I mean seriously. She’s 127 lbs for goodness sake.

Now in amongst all this I have a funeral organised (if the body is found!) for April 15^th but I don’t know if I can attend as we aren’t meant to mix households in my country & obviously my mam has to take priority being at the funeral not me, the granddaughter.  I haven’t been able to give my own mam a hug for over a month & its very upsetting to hear her cry & not be there to hug her. So I dunno how this will affect my mental state but right now I’m more angry than anything else.

And missing my EV pixels. And my EV friends. Or not since most of them will probably have left now!

Fable

I'm very sorry to hear about your last couple years that sounds rough! I can partially sympathize as I lost both my grandparents within 2 days of one another. I dont believe I was around last time you were active but welcome back!

Welcome back!!!! I'm so sorry about your family, best friend, and your mental health!!!! 
:( *hugs tightly*

Last edited on 2020-04-03 at 09:23:25 by 💜 𝓕𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓭 💜

Welcome back! sending good thoughts ^.^

I'm sorry for all you have gone through! I have worried about you in our absence as last I knew you were going on a vacation around Christmas(a couple ago). I now understand why there was such a long delay in your return. I'm so sorry for all of your losses and what an awful time you have had. I pray things will improve for you and I will say I am glad to see that you at least are still around.

Welcome back, and I really hope that things improve for you. 

@Olympea 

Thanks for your thoughts & prayers. It's appreciated. Yes I was on vacation when my grandad died which sounds callous but he was consumed by Alzheimer's & had no knowledge of the world around him for the previous 3years so we were just taking our New Year family vacations as normal. it's unfortunate he chose that time to go. 

But yes hopefully I am better now & need a bit of a distraction while on lockdown so I dug out my EV password! I honestly missed EV so much & can't wait to breed some foals as I love their new breed art especially the cute lil chinco/Shetland/miniature art but then I love the sleek "future champion" look of the warm blood art too

@Bonnie

Sorry to hear about your grandparents too. 

I am so sorry to hear about your last couple of years being so hard and all your losses. I had one death, my father's mother's mom, but I wasn't close to her or anything so honestly it didn't effect me. I don't really have any connections to my side of the family except to my parents and siblings because my parents were big into disowning family when they had disagreements when I was growing up, so they removed most my family out of my life. I am however, really close to all my in-laws. Aside from that we had a really rough couple of years as well, but due to schooling for both of us going to nursing school and then ups and downs mentally from financial issues and jobs. We haven't had a vacation in years and I've been desperate for one. We ended up getting pregnant after my husband switched jobs from a hospital and I was laid off then he lost hours. No where would hire me. Now things are finally turning for the better even though this covid-19 is happening. My daughter is going on 9 months and my husband's job is picking up in hours. We also just came out of debt too so I am beyond relieved things are finally leveling out in our lives. I won't talk about the bad family issues I ran into with my family either lol trying to put it behind me and move on and distance myself from them. Going to therapy in June if covid allows lol.

Anyway, I am so terribly sorry to hear about all your losses and everything you went through. :[ I really hope things will get better for you, I really do. I had wondered what happened to you because I hadn't seen you for awhile and didn't recognize your username. I remember you as Fable. I came back active when I got laid off in November of 2018 and plan to stay active now lol. I'm a stay at home mom. I use to be Native Pride, or called NPR for short. It's nice to see you back! A lot of people I knew I don't see anymore.