Why? WHY! (crys)

So, when i was five my biological dad went out to fish one night. I was only five, if i knew the way it had turned out, i would have told him not to go. 

So, he goes out fishing. He was driving his boat, and hit something. He was thrown off the boat, and,.............. he drowned. It has been almost 7 years on December 5th. 

Everything would be so different if he hadn't gone fishing. I should have stopped him!!!!! I can´t  help but feel like it´s my fault. 

I had a blow out in orchestra class, i was playing. I drooped my bow, and started to cry. My teacher it was okay, it happens. But then i told her what happened and i just fell apart. 

If i had stopped him, so many things would be different! I would still have the horses, and, well, my dad. 

I really could use someone to talk to. I am trying not fall apart. I just need someone to help me get threw this. 

When i was younger, it was so easy to tell people, but over the summer, it all hit me really hard. 

i could really use some inspiration right now. I am so sad :(

X(

DX

ONE good thing did sort of happen, so, i told my friend Alexis(she asked because i was crying). Then, my boyfriend walked by, Alexis told him. I was trying to hide so he wouldn't be worried about me. He saw me and looked really concerned. 
this was our conversation
he is c
i am a

c, are you okay?
a, i am fine
c, are you sure? Alexis told me about your dad, i am really sorry.
a, its fine, really. 
c, do you want me to wait with you   ( i always wait with my friend for her bf)
a, no, my class is right there. But thanks
c, yeah, no problem. 

Then he hugged me! :)

Last edited on 2019-09-26 at 08:10:19 by 🐎Avery's Rescue🐎