2017 Sucks Eggs/My Life Is Tough At The Mo Vent

So yeah Ive never posted much personal online before but Im in need of a vent/moan. Whichever.

Currently ongoing in my life since December started is my grandad has entered the next stage of alzheimers whereby he has forgotten normal day to day things like how to swallow food & drink so he's just wasting away before our very eyes. Dont get me wrong the care home staff where he's at are good at their jobs its just sad to see human beings suffer in this way. We wouldnt let an animal go through it for cruelty laws so why do we let humans?!

My nana had a fall in Sept & she's been in the same care home as my grandad since then to recover before going back home only she now wont ever be going home as shes lost the use of her legs (no one knows how as docs say its nothing physical) & last Friday she developed Pneumonia. 

My dad is undergoing tests for heart problems yet no medical professional seems to be able to pinpoint whats wrong.

This is all stressing my mam out (its her parents in the carehome) to the point where she is making herself ill with heart palpitations & dizzy collapsing spells.

My uncle was diagnosed with 3 months to live with in operable liver cancer 4days ago and the very next day one of the girls in our gang said she had skin cancer but was ok now coz she'd had an op to remove it. She said it was a small 3inch chunk they removed from her lower calf & that she'd be damned if she wasnt her to see a much anticipated Katy Perry gig next year after a 16 year wait! So we breathed a sigh of relief roll on our xmas night out Tues 19th dec :)

However I just saw her at home 2day to discuss outfits & its anything but. Its a huge open wound 7 inchs long & about 2 inchs deep. They've removed part of her leg bone for goodness sake! Shes not meant to even leave the house. Then she confessed if she hadnt gone to docs when she did & went after new year which was her original plan she'd have been too late. The cancer would have spread to her lymphnodes & be in operable. Shes 32. 

And while everybody else goes about the place crying Im the type of person to be like "right it is what it is get on with it". So everyone looks to me for strength as they know I dont crumble & cry. However this pillar of strength malark is taking its toll & making me even more short tempered & snappy at the weakness I see around me. And i know it sounds daft but if it wasnt for some pretend ponies & a snowball fight event on EV I would literally go insane. 

Although I am furious Miss Bex downplayed her diagnosis. She knows I'll be having words after her bone/leg reconstruction operations. And no one will be more grateful to still have her around to give her said angry lecture  :D

I'm sorry that so many around you are going through so much and that it has been difficult for you as well. 

I understand how you feel though. My dad is in the end stage of liver disease and was admitted to UW Madison friday night again. Yesterday they discovered internal bleeding in his abdomen. They have not received the Ultrasound results yet so can not tell us where the bleeding is coming from. They did a blood transfusion yesterday and a paracentesis. They have him on medication for his kidneys and liver now. Last week we were hopeful he may be able to get on the transplant list. Now, I am not sure he will make it to the rest of the testing. 

*hugs*

I'm praying. I know what having a relative/friend with cancer is like. I had to watch my Great-Grandma go through it. And she didn't make it. I'm praying so hard that you won't have to see that happen yet. 

*hugs!*
My grandpa had Alzheimers and he was 91 (I think) before he died (around a week ago now). He could recall information from when he was a kid but couldn't remember the present. He always asked the same questions over and over again. It was very sad to watch it get worse before your very eyes. 

@ Snickerdoodle fay - Re my uncle The plan is to get a 2nd opinion from an American Doctor (we are in the UK) who is the best in his field apparently & if he says theres a chance of treatment I suppose crazy amounts of money will have to be raised somehow as I know USA treatments cost a heck of a lot.

@pegasusdreamer - sorry to hear about your recent loss xx

@Glitterfang - I find I get great periods of calm then when life goes wrong it does so all at once! However my nana always says that life only throws at you what you can handle. Guessing if thats the case Im one tough cookie :s

I'm so sorry for you. My grandmother has Alzheimer's and it's such a painful disease. My grandfather also has a variety of heart problems. Our family has had a painful year too (anniversaries of various passings, most caused by cancer), please know you're not alone. If you need to talk, shoot me a DM ♥