We Interrupt This Program [Closed RP]

Auberon

Under any regular circumstance, he probably would have picked up on Mason's hesitation and flushness, but he had still unsuccessfully pulled himself out of his half-asleep state. He was jerked back into reality when Mase grabbed him, only grasping his logic in time enough to avoid smacking the boy across the face out of reaction.
Auberon stood there for a moment, glancing around the room only to let his eyes settle on Outlaw. His mind started racing with things he could possibly say to her, but none of them seemed appropriate with the feeling that lingered heavily on his chest whenever he thought of or saw her. Should he say something that he'd say to a complete stranger? Or should he act normal and try to shove away all the tension between them?

Outlaw
She paused her check of her instruments at the feeling of someone watching her, and glanced over her shoulder to see Auberon watching her. She held his gaze for a moment before biting her lip and hastily busying herself in checking her equipment once more. There was nothing she could think to say at the moment, nothing that could explain the numbness their drifting apart had left in her, nor did she even want to attempt and explain it to him, for fear of hurting the boy she still loved as a brother.

Auberon

A twang of guilt stabbed his heart when his gaze was met by Outlaw's. He blinked a few times before shuffling on his feet and mumbling, "Are you ready for the show..?" in her direction. He wasn't entirely sure if she'd hear him or even reply, and his chest started throbbing harder as the fear of getting no reply deepened. What if she hates me now? Or what if one day she just.. leaves? Or has she already left and I'm just chasing a fantasy? God, I don't want to be left alone again.. but I messed up, so she has the right to. 

Outlaw
"Think so" she replied as casually as she could. She closed up her guitar case, reassured everything was in order, before risking to glance over at Auberon to ask in return, "You?"

Auberon

Oh, god she's mad, she is definitely mad. She barely said a thing she's barely responding, she- I screwed up, I messed everything up and now she's gonna leave; she's gonna leave like Josh, my family, my sister, my horse, my- I'm gonna be alone forever. "I- um..." His mind felt scattered and full, like someone had been yelling in his ear for hours and it was just getting louder and louder. The thoughts kept racing and with every millisecond they seemed to get faster and faster until suddenly; nothing. Nothing but a dull sense of self and the feeling of complete frustration. "Yeah, yeah sure, whatever." He walked away from the conversation, going into the bathroom and shutting the door as he felt his head begin to spin once again, but this time for other reasons. This is why no one stays, idiot. You're manipulative and annoying; you can't even carry on a simple conversation without having a mental breakdown. You're a literal problem to everyone around you. 

Outlaw

Worry clouded her eyes as she watched Auberon go. F*cking idiot, now look what you did, honestly you shoulda just stayed the hell away from him, and everyone really. She gave a low sigh as she moved from the floor to the chair in the corner, checking her trusty old watch again for something to do before staring blankly at the scars that cobwebbed her hands. 

Mason
 And just like that, the moment was over, and his mind returned to his excitement about the show as if nothing had ever derailed it. After all, it hadn't been the fact that Auberon himself had been the person to say the thing that had taken Mason off guard, but that it had been said at all. But the words were done and over with, and all that unknowingly came with them slid away too.
 Of course, the above was nothing more than a dim understanding in the back of Mason's mind. What he was mostly aware of was the strange tension that was almost tangible between Aub and Outlaw as they began speaking. He narrowed his eyes and glanced between them for a second before wordlessly slipping away and stepping outside.
 He found Chance standing against the wall a short distance from the door. After a moment's deliberation and the lighting of a cigarette, Mason walked out into the middle of the cracked concrete hallway and turned to face the boy with no regard or thought for the alone time he might have been invading. "Hey," he started, taking the cigarette out of his mouth, "how's it goin' out here? Better than whatever the hell they've got going on in there, I hope."

Chance
Another guest had left their room and walked past Chance to the door with the little window he was looking out of, not just pulling him from his thoughts but putting him a little ill at ease. They hadn't said anything to him, but they'd looked a little too long and now he was self-conscious. He folded his arms across his chest, and though he was trying to keep his hands from flying to his hair or fidgeting he ended up tapping them against his arms. When Mason appeared he was almost relieved, even with the renewed anxiousness thinking that it was time to go. Then Auberon and Outlaw didn't appear, and Mason spoke, and he realized there was still some waiting left to do. "It's fine.. Are they okay?" 

Last edited on 2021-07-08 at 11:18:03 by oswin

Mason
 Mason exhaled through his nose sharply in what was almost a laugh. "Doubt it." He took a drag on his cigarette, his other hand being used to tap some unsung rhythm on his side before he noticed Chance was doing something similar; he stuffed his hand in his jacket pocket to silence it, but that only resulted in him rocking back and forth on his feet instead. He kept watching the boy for another moment before mirroring his question: "Are you okay?"

Chance
The question took him by surprise, and maybe if he had stopped to consider it for a moment his reply would have been more cohesive. "Yeah. Well, sort of?" Chance unfolded his arms, touched his hair a little, then in unconscious mimicry slipped them into his pockets. "I'm nervous, and I feel like maybe- I-" he hesitated, then finished in a single breath, "I'm trans and I'm worried about how I'll look on stage and this person passed me and was staring I don't know why maybe I look weird, and--" He paused, at this point his shoes seeming a safer thing to look at then his bandmate. Then, quietly, "I'm just nervous, I guess."

Last edited on 2021-07-08 at 15:29:39 by oswin

Mason
 Mason blinked, taken aback by the weight of the information he'd just received. "Oh," he said simply, and then took a hesitant step toward Chance before stopping himself. "Hey, you'll be okay. I think you look fine. But who cares what anybody else thinks, right? Being afraid of what others think is no way to live, man. Believe me." It was only toward the end of his response that what Chance's words meant for his own life really hit him. Should I... tell him? No. Not right now. Later. I can tell him it'll be okay but I'll do that later. He couldn't meet Chance's eyes on account of him being looking down, but Mason hoped the boy could somehow feel his gaze and could tell Mason was on his side.

Chance
It'd been years since he'd last done something like that, and he'd forgotten the way his stomach twisted itself in knots that seemed saved for it specifically. But Mason took it well, and the knots untangled into relief. "Thanks," he said, the small word backed by genuine gratitude. He managed to drag his eyes upward. "That was sudden, sorry." He was supposed to be excited for this, what was likely a turning point in the band's career. Instead he just felt completely riddled with anxiety that seemed to only worsen the longer he waited. Chance wanted to be excited. Part of him was, behind the insecurity. But if you drop a ring in muddy water you may never find it if the water doesn't clear first.

Outlaw
What the hell do I do now... She took in a shaky breath, clutching her head in her hands, before forcing herself to her feet. Another shaky breath was took as she slowly walked towards the bathroom. The gentle rap of her knuckles on the door rang like a gunshot in the tension that hung in the room. "Aub? You alright?" 

Auberon

Auberon had zoned out while staring at the bathroom sink, lost in his thoughts until Outlaw's knock made his soul leave his body. Somehow, he didn't end up in the shower, though his reaction felt so severe he figured he should have. A sigh, then a pause to regain his senses before he managed, "Yeah, yeah I'm fine." He opened the door to see her standing there, though much to his surprise, he felt almost nothing emotionally compared to the breakdown he had experienced just moments prior. "What about you? Didn't give me much of an answer when I asked you about the gig."

Outlaw
Outlaw jumped slightly when Auberon opened the door. "Yeah I'm good, I'm ready to roll." She forced her lips into what she hoped was a convincing grin. "You sure you're good?" She questioned after a moment, studying him for a moment.